Talking to Kids About School Shootings

As we approach the anniversary of the Parkland school shooting, many Florida parents feel anxious about how to talk to their children about school safety. Whether your child brings it up or you hear about it on the news, these conversations matter. The good news? You don't need to be a mental health expert to help your child feel safe and supported.

This guide will help you have these difficult conversations with confidence and compassion.

Your Most Important Questions, Answered

Q: Why does this conversation matter?

A: Your child may hear about school shootings from friends, social media, or school drills. When you guide the talk, you can stop rumors and lower fear. You also show your child they can come to you with hard topics.

Think of yourself as your child’s calm anchor. Your steady voice helps them handle big feelings and bounce back.

Q: How do I start this conversation without scaring my child?

A: Start by asking what they already know. Try: "Have you heard kids at school talking about what happened in Parkland?" or "Did your teacher mention the lockdown drill today?"

Let your child guide you. If they have not heard about it and seem okay, you may not need a long talk. But if they ask questions or seem worried, it is time to talk.

Be honest but calm. Use simple words: "There was a shooting at a school, and some people got hurt. It is very sad. But it is over now, and many people are working to keep schools safe."

Q: What should I say to my preschooler or kindergartner?

A: Keep it very simple. Children under age 6 need just one or two sentences: "Something sad happened at a school far away. You are safe. Mommy, Daddy, and your teachers keep you safe every day."

Focus on feelings: "It is okay to feel worried sometimes. When you feel scared, you can talk to me, and we will feel better together."

Avoid showing them news images or videos. Young children may think something that happened once is happening again and again.

Q: My elementary-age child keeps asking if it could happen at their school. What do I say?

A: Be truthful: "It could happen, but it is very, very rare. Your school has many safety rules to protect you."

Talk about specific safety steps at their school:

• Locked doors during the day

• Teachers and staff who watch the playground

• Safety drills they practice

• Police officers who help keep schools safe

Ask how they felt during their last safety drill. This helps you understand their worry and fix any scary misunderstandings.

Visit our Understanding Childhood Anxiety page to learn more about supporting anxious children.

Q: How should I talk to my teenager about this?

A: Let your teen lead. Ask: "What are you hearing about the Parkland anniversary? How are you feeling about it?"

Teens can handle deeper talks. You might discuss:

• Why school shootings happen

• What laws exist to prevent them

• How your teen can speak up for change if they want to

Help them feel strong, not helpless. Say: "This is scary, but people across the country are working on solutions. You can be part of that change too."

Monitor their social media use. Graphic images and videos can feel traumatic. Encourage them to limit news and scrolling during anniversary times.

Q: What if my child seems fine but I'm worried they're holding feelings inside?

A: Create easy, low-pressure times to talk:

• During car rides (no eye contact can make it easier)

• At bedtime

• While doing an activity together

Say: "I have been thinking about the Parkland anniversary. It is okay to have feelings about it. Want to talk?"

Watch for signs your child may be struggling:

• Sleep changes

• Eating changes

• Sudden drop in grades

• Pulling away from friends

• Getting extra clingy

• Stomachaches or headaches

• Not wanting to go to school

If these signs last more than two weeks, extra support can help. Florida families dealing with teenage depression or anxiety can access care quickly through telehealth. You can also review common concerns on our Symptoms we treat page.

Q: My child is having nightmares. Is this normal?

A: Yes. Nightmares after scary news are common. They often fade within a few weeks.

Help by:

• Keeping the same bedtime routine

• Leaving a nightlight on

• Reminding them you are nearby

• Avoiding scary TV or news before bed

If nightmares last longer than a month or get worse, reach out for professional help.

Q: Should I let my child stay home from school if they're scared?

A: Short answer: No, unless they are truly sick.

Staying home can teach the brain that school is not safe. Instead:

• Walk them to class the first day back if needed

• Talk to their teacher about extra support

• Practice deep breathing together before school

• Remind them of school safety steps

If school refusal keeps happening, that can be a sign of anxiety that needs extra help.

Q: What should I NOT say?

A: Use calm, honest words. Avoid these common mistakes:

Don't make promises you can't keep. Avoid: "This will never happen to you" or "You're completely safe." That can break trust.

Don't hide your feelings, but don't flood your child with them either. It is okay to say: "This makes me sad too. But we can feel sad together and still be okay."

Don't give graphic details. Kids do not need details about injuries or death. Those details can stick in their minds.

When Professional Help Makes a Difference

Q: When should I get professional help?

A: Some children need extra support after hearing about school violence. This may be more likely for Florida kids who:

• Knew someone affected by Parkland

• Already have anxiety or depression

• Went through trauma in the past

• Show signs of ongoing stress

Look for signs your child may need support:

• Fear about school that lasts more than 2-3 weeks

• Panic feelings or severe anxiety

• More anger or big outbursts

• Talking about death or self-harm

• Big mood swings

• Pulling away from fun activities

Our post-pandemic PTSD, ADHD and depression resource explains how Florida children are managing layered stress. To learn what care can look like, read What to expect from Treatment.

Q: What should I expect around the Parkland anniversary?

A: February 14th may bring more worry for Florida families. Schools may hold memorial activities or moments of silence. Use these steps:

Talk about it beforehand. "Your school might do something special to remember the people who died in Parkland. This is a way to show we care."

Validate their feelings. "It is okay to feel sad, scared, or confused. All of those feelings are normal."

Limit media exposure. News coverage goes up around anniversaries. Watch what your child sees and hears.

Focus on helpers. Talk about the teachers who protected students, the first responders who helped, and the people working for change.

Create your own small ritual. Light a candle, draw a picture, or plant a flower in memory. Small acts help kids handle big feelings.

You're Not Alone in This

Talking to your kids about school shootings is hard. You don't need to have perfect words. Your presence, honesty, and love are enough.

Remember: Most children are resilient. With your support, they can process these scary events and continue to thrive.

If you notice your child struggling with anxiety, depression, or behavior changes after these talks, help is available right here in Florida. Call 239-790-8822. Sunset Behavioral Health offers virtual psychiatric care throughout the state, making it easy to get support when your family needs it. You can also reach us through our Contact Us page.

Ready to Get Support for Your Child?

If your child is struggling with anxiety about school safety: or any mental health concern: you don't have to wait weeks for an appointment.

Book a free 15-minute consultation with Luisa Garcia, our dual-certified Nurse Practitioner, and be seen within 48 hours. We accept most major Florida insurance plans, and self-pay options start at $199/month.

Schedule your consultation now and give your child the support they deserve.

Your child's mental health matters. Let's take the first step together: because brighter days are possible, and we're here to help your family find them. 🌅

Sunset Behavioral Health provides compassionate virtual mental health care throughout Florida. We specialize in helping children, teens, and families navigate anxiety, depression, ADHD, and trauma. Available in English and Spanish.